Happy Halloween

Today was good. Today was very good. Morning I had a class which i was 15 min late to but it was ok. Later i went to marshalls to get something, then I went to pick up some meat. We hung out alllll day :) Lemme see....the highlight of the day was going to see Saw. (long, in depth review). Fucked up movie, but good. Uhhh yeah :).

Ehh I have work tomorrow nooooo. Hey at least I get an extra hour of sleep tonight! Woooo weee!

I don't have a lot to say. I'm really on the edge about a lot of things. Top of my list being the new girl at work and having the managers drooling over her. Me and Jo are waiting for her to break out of her niceness and become evil. Muahhahahaha. And of course mark is there too. But whatever....he has a new girl, they're happy, and now i know that every promise he made to me was complete bullshit. I don't even want to get into it anymore. I hate him so much but i fucking love him so god damned much... :(

Happy Halloween all.





.

ugh lol

Eh its a little too late for me to up right now. My vision is blurry and i think i'm going crazy lol. But i wanted to work on this for a little. I added some new things thanks to http://kirkkitsch.blogspot.com and www.star-girl.org lol. While your at it, visit http://agneswong.blogspot.com. Gooood stuff ;-)

Hrmm. Well today is the 29th. Baaaad day. Well, I mean the actually day was good, but what the day means is bad. Yeahh anyway. See i babble when i'm tired. I'm supposed to go out to lunch with Angelo tomorrow :-D yay!! That should be fun. (Mike's jealous hahaha). Work sucked major ass. I had to train this girl on the service desk. She's Ms. Ury's little pet. She loves her. It makes me siick. No work tomorrow though! Thank god.

I talked to Koogie today-
koogiemonster33 (12:18:33 AM): well not really cause u cant handle this
serra angel354 (12:19:37 AM): sweetie...i believe its you that cannot handle me ;-)
koogiemonster33 (12:20:08 AM): we will have to see
serra angel354 (12:20:43 AM): i guess we will
koogiemonster33 (12:20:58 AM): call when ever u want lol
serra angel354 (12:21:34 AM): hahaha i will.
koogiemonster33 (12:21:46 AM): yeah ok lol jp
serra angel354 (12:21:55 AM): oh your on
serra angel354 (12:21:59 AM): just wait
serra angel354 (12:22:15 AM): you'll be gettin a call soon...not tonight but soon
koogiemonster33 (12:22:27 AM): nice nice
koogiemonster33 (12:22:46 AM): and we will see who will win
koogiemonster33 (12:23:22 AM): i bet its me lol
serra angel354 (12:23:44 AM): hahahaha
serra angel354 (12:24:00 AM): you should never make bets with meserra angel354 (12:24:02 AM): i always win
koogiemonster33 (12:24:56 AM): i will be ur sex slave for a year if u beat me lol

HAHAHA GET IT ON!!!!

I had to put that in there. Yeahhh anyway...more shtuff i found....
http://star-girl.org/pages/you/games/pastlife.php
and

You are...Homer!


Find out which Simpson you are at star-girl.org!

Can you believe that shit? Anyway I think thats all for now. More later on today(when there is actual daylight lol). Good night :)

What color is your heart?

Your heart is white! Not many have pure white
hearts. (Yes, your special.) You always think
about others before yourself. Even though your
usually quiet and shy if you have something to
say you will speak up and say it. Your a good
person. Go you!

What Color Is Your Heart?

Only One- Yellowcard

Broken this fragile thing now
And i can't, i can't pick up the pieces
And I've thrown my words all around
But I can't, I can't give you a reason

I feel so broken up (so broken up)
And I give up (I give up)
I just want to tell you so you know

Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
You are my only one
I let go, but there's just no one that gets me like you do
You are my only, my only one

Made my mistakes, let you down
And I can't, I can't hold on for too long
Ran my whole life in the ground
And I can't, I can't get up when you're gone

And something's breaking up (breaking up)
I feel like giving up (like giving up)
I won't walk out until you know

*Chorus*

Here I go so dishonestly
Leave a note for you my only one
And I know you can see right through me
So let me go and you will find someone

Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
You are my only one
I let go, but there's just no one, no one like you
You are my only, my only one

Another woooonderful day. My new mattress is making me itch like crazy so its hard for me to get any sleep. On top of that, i got my period last night at 2:30 in the freaking morning. :( NOT FUN. Mark called me around then too. I really don't get whats going on between us. Its so freaking confusing and frustrating. He's trying his best to keep me around and to keep me from moving on without him but i don't understand why. It seems so pointless. He's there, I'm here. He's got other girls on his ass (maybe even literally) all day and I've got my boy ;-). Honestly whats the point? Don't get me wrong, I love mark so fucking much but with everything thats been happening and how little we see each other...is it worth it anymore? I tried calling him today and that girl answered the phone so i just hung up. She called me back 6 fucking times! Psycho. It hurts me to hear him tell me how much he loves me and how much he misses me, then to go call him and have some girl answer it almost every time. Is me calling him the only thing that is really keeping anything between us alive?

No matter how much I think over and over again, nothing ever gets solved. I worked today 930- 430 which sucked. Saw Mike after work for like, 30 min. Now he's out with his boys. How much ya wanna bet no call from him today? Grrrrr. I'm so not going to call him no matter what. Tomorrow is Spanish class! YAY Hector LOL ;-) he's soooo cute. Rarrr. Ha ha. Anyway lol. I also have work 3-10. Mike is going to a wedding tomorrow and is renting hotel room afterwards and wanted me to come by. Hmmmm. Mike+ Drunk= Dumbass, little bastard LOL. We'll see.

DoEzMyBreThSmell (11:43:18 PM): heyy babbyy
DoEzMyBreThSmell (11:43:22 PM): you loookin hot toonighhhttt

HAHAHA ohhh i love my gilly ;-)

I guess thats all for tonight. I wish the stars were out tonight. I'd make the same ol' wish on them i do all the time. To the moon and back I promise (sadly enough) that I will always love you.

Happy Birthday Betsy!

Today is Betsy's birthday for all who didn't know. She's my sister. Today was ok. School morning, home so betsy could open presents, billards, party city, dinner, mike's. Great day huh. Yeahh. Mike is in a pissy mood so that wasn't fun. I tried calling Mark a little while ago and another bitch answered his phone. Oh wait...i think he said to me if you call, i'll answer, i'll talk to you. Uh huhhh. Whatever. Mike told me to call him when i got home, I did and he didn't answer. Whatever #2. Everything is bullshit. I'm supposed to see him tomorrow after my relatives leave (we are having a family party tomorrow). We'll see about that.

Heres lyrics to an old, old song...
There You Go lyrics
Please don't come around talkin bout that you love me
Cuz that love shit just ain't for me
And I dont wanna hear that you adore me
And I know that all you're doin is runnin your mind games
Don't you know my game beats these games
So your best bet is to be straight with me
So you say you wanna talk, let's talkIf you won't talk, I'll walk, yeah it's like that
Got a new man, he's waiting out back
Now what, what you think about that
Now when I say I'm through, I'm through
Basically, I'm through with you
Whatcha wanna say, had to have it your way, had to play games
Now you're beggin me to stay
[Chorus:]There you go, lookin pitiful
Just because I let you go
There you go, talkin bout you want me back
But sometimes it be's like that, so
There you go, talkin bout you miss me so, that you love me so, why I let ya go
There you go cause your lies got old, look at you
There you go
Please don't come around talkin bout how you changed
How you said good-bye to what's-her-name
All it sounds like to me is new game
And I was right when I thought I'd be much better off without you
Had to get myself from round you, cuz my life was all about you
So you say you wanna talk, I don't
Say you wanna change, I won't
Yeah, it's like that
Had your chance, won't take ya back
Now what, whatcha think about that
And when I say I'm through, I'm through
Basically I'm through wit you
Whatcha wanna say
Had to have it your way, had to play games, now you're beggin me to stay
[Repeat Chorus]
Oooh, don't you wish you could turn the hands of time
Don't you wish you still were mine
Don't you wish I'd take you back
Don't you wish that things were simple like that, oh
Didn't miss a good thing till it was gone
But I knew it wouldn't be long, till you came runnin back
Missin my love, there you go
[Repeat Chorus 3x]
So there you go, there you go



PS. I love my meat

Over and Over

"Over And Over" By Nelly (feat. Tim McGraw)
Cause its all in my head
I think about it over and over again
And I can't keep picturing you with him
And it hurts so bad, yeah
Cause its all in my head
I think about it over and over again
I replay it over and over again
And I can't take it yeah I can't shake it

I can't wait to see you
Want to see if you still got that look in your eyes
That one you had for me before we said our goodbyes
And its a shame that we got to spend our time
Being mad about the same things
Over and over again
But I think she's leaving
Ooh man she's leaving
I don't know what else to do
(I can't go on not loving you)

Cause its all in my head
I think about it over and over again
I can't keep picturing you with him
And it hurts so bad, yeah
Cause its all in my head
I think about it over and over again
I replay it over and over again yeah
And I can't take it yeah I can't shake it

I remember the day you left
I remember the last breath you took right in front of me
When you said that you would leave
I was too damn stubborn to try to stop you or say anything
But I see clearly now
And this choice I made keeps playing in my head
Over and over again
Playing in my head

*Chorus*

Now that I've realized that I'm going down
From all this pain you've put me through
Every time I close my eyes I like it down
I can't go on not loving you

*Chorus x2*

hello

I decided to do one of these. Why? I'm not really sure. I'm even sure if i'm going to be posting it in my profile. One of the main reasons why I'm writing this is possibly for a way for me and mark to communicate a little better. I don't know, I guess we'll see. For now, I don't need to explain who i am because if mark is the only one reading this, he's knows who i am...probably better than i know myself. There has been so much shit happening. Me and my heart have been running around in circles recently. So many ups and downs its ridiculus.( i think thats spelled wrong) Last night when mark called me, it was so weird. He was so different. I hated hearing him the way he was. I was angry at the whole situation and how he was handling. Then i heard his voice and felt horrible for feeling that way. Its so weird how you find someone and you know they are the one by little things that happen along the way. And its funny how you think the two of you have developed into a mature relationship, but then things happen to make you realize that even after 3 years, there are still things the two of you need to work on together to make it work. Talking to mark for so long last night helped us realize a lot about each other. We both know that no matter what directions the wind takes us, we will still love each other and we will still be in each others hearts. It hurts to think about where the future will take us. We are going to be even further away from each other when it comes time for next year. I'm dreading that. Right now we aren't together and i feel a little less stressed than when we were together. I'm trying my best to change how i was...i have mike helping me out with that. He's a great friend. I don't think mark realizes how much of a FRIEND mike is to me and thats it. I really don't want anything more. I have someone who means everything and more to me. I messed up by starting a friendship with mike again but its only a friendship. Mark, I love you now and forever. I did do some really bad things to you in the past and going behind your back was a horrible thing to do. But I've changed and i'm changing. I'm not that girl anymore. I know who i want and its you- now and for the rest of my life.
On another note, today was quite boring. I didn't go to sleep until late so i got up around 2. Took a late shower, picked mike up from work, then went home and did nothing. And here I am now, 1140 at night waiting for my baby to call. wait a sec. He's not my baby. I'm waiting for mark to call. There we go. I'll write again tomorrow. I have a wonderful class in the morning with Whale Bitch and work later. Good night ya'll.