Why am i so uptight today?
I don't know what to write anymore. There are a thousand things running through my mind this very moment. Half of them are lyrics to random songs.
I just sit here and wonder where you are.
I remember the last time I saw you, looked into those enchanting eyes. You filled me with those beautiful lies as you left to see her. I started to drive to see you again, one last time i hoped, but my ride got interrupted by an idiotic animal. When I realized where I was going, I cried. I lied to everyone when they asked me where I was going because I was ashamed of the truth, ashamed that I was so weak to give in to needing you so badly. You were like a drug to me, I always needed you, and when I had you, I needed more, until eventually, I had nothing left. Now I'm here, attempting to recover from my withdrawls. I wish there was a medicine to make the want of another human being disappear. And its so sad, that after all this time, and realizing all the lies, I would still do anything for you; anything to be able to see you one more time.
How sad it is how much i loved you. I loved you one day and hated you the next. I still love you though. I hate what you did/do to me. I did so much for you and here I am left with nothing but my broken heart that you gave back to me. It sits here in my hands, blood dripping down my fingers, pieces everywhere.
How sad it is that after all this time I still need you like I needed you when we were together. And what a waste of time it is. Its quite pathetic.
You make me sick with all the pain and scars you left me everywhere. Everywhere i go, everything i see, i see you, i feel you. Everywhere is a reminder. You stand there and smile at me. Everytime i close my eyes i see your face. You're always there. But I wish you were here.
**Now now everyone, I'd like to note that this coming week is going to be very bad for me. Not only is it the holidays, but its "that time of the month" and I woke up feeling pretty damn shitty and with quite too much on my mind. These little entries for me help me get some things out that sit with me for too long. It helps me get over shit. Just let me write, don't judge please. If you have an opinion in the matter, I don't care. I realize I need to get over it, I've had this advice one too many times so don't give me it. Just let me write.**
And yes...this is entry is about the Foog...
Good night. -
