Hellllloooo :)

Your love is... by ChibiMarronchan
Your name is...
Your kiss is...	delicious
Your hugs are...	to die for
Your eyes...	burn into my heart
Your touch is...	the only thing I desire
Your smell is...	exotic
Your smile is...	entrancing
Your love is...	unique
Quiz created with MemeGen!

My baby :) 

let it snow

I had one of the most best weekends EVER. I didn't have to work or anything. I stayed home with my babe, watched TV and snuggled. Could life get any better??

We had a huge snow storm on Saturday so because of it, Mike got to stay at my house! Oh how terrible.

Its beautiful outside. The snow is covering everything. Its about 2 feet deep and its soo cold its starting to freeze. I absolutely adore the snow. Its just the cold I hate. When my family first moved here, we were thrilled to see we had a tiny hill in the front lawn. It was soo much fun to sled down. Ahh the memories... my next door neighbors would come and we would sit in our sleighs and race down. The frustration of the snow being too soft to sleigh down so someone would have to go down first to make a path and settle down the snow. Ha ha, i always had to do it being the oldest and heaviest.

But now, standing outside in the bitter cold with the wind at my face trying my hardest to finish my damn cigarette, I wish it was summer. I love the heat. I love sitting in the sun, soaking up my skin cancer lol. I love being tan and looking sexy. But then, what girl doesn't?

Have you ever had those moments, those specific times when everything around you is just perfect and you think to yourself, wow, could life be any better than this? I had one of those moments today. Football, a beer in my hand, on mike's bed.......yup. What more could a girl want?

Will you dance with me?

Songs and music have an amazing power. They can make you feel so many different emotions. Or a certain songs lyrics make you feel a certain emotion. I can relate every song to an emotion I feel. I seem to always be able to find the certain lyrics to satisfy my mood or explain. But today is different. I sit here thinking of the lyrics that could possibly even give a hint of what I'm feeling, but nothing comes to mind. Only "I Hope You Dance" by Lee Ann Womak. Too much is going on in my life and right now is the only chance I have had in the past 3 days for myself. And so far its only been about 20 minutes. There's so much to say but no way to say it.

I can't stop dreaming. Every night I've dreamt. I guess thats good- at least my mind is attempting to sort out some things for me. But the dreams are so adnormal. Why did I feel that certain way with my cousin? Why were we in Marshalls? In the dream I had last night, my next door neighbor kissed me. He's 13...I think. I haven't seen this kid or talked to him in years, why the dream? He was at my house...or someone's house...and his sister came over and said ____ we are leaving now, are you coming? He said no, I'll just go tomorrow. She said, you're going to go by yourself? How? He just said, I don't know. And he looked at me and said to her, I'll figure out a way. My dream the night before was too weird to even write.

help

I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance
Never settle for the path of least resistance
Living might mean taking chances
But they're worth taking
Lovin' might be a mistake
But it's worth making
Don't let some hell bent heart
Leave you bitter
When you come close to selling out
Reconsider
Give the heavens above
More than just a passing glance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
I hope you dance

Aries gurls are amazing

Thanks Smokey Smurf for this :)

You are 80% Aries

How much do you match your zodiac sign?

Child's play

I'm such a little girl.

I was promised to see him once he got home from going to court (long story). He called me when he got home and said he was taking a nap. Until 10 pm. Whats the point? Just go to bed. I was hurt and got upset and he got mad for me being selfish. Was I being selfish for wanting to see him? If I had just said okay, i'll talk to you later, it would have saved a very childish fight and him getting mad at me- for the second time today.

I don't think I would normal have acted like this. I get very emotional very easily. There are a lot of little things that need to be done or that are going to be happening that are building up inside of me. I have no gas in my car. I can't go anywhere. I have no cigarettes. I have no money. I'm just stuck in this house, watching TV or looking at this stupid fucking computer screen, listening to my shitty ass music. My boyfriend mad at me because i'm an emotional disaster. To make all of this even better, Mike told me today that someone at his work said he talked to/saw Mark recently with his girlfriend. He was reported to say, Fuck Sarah and Mike.

I'm 18 years old and I'm still dealing with this bullshit. This is why I want to get the hell out of Mount Olive, far away from New Jersey. But then again, I cant bear the thought of leaving.
When I do, there won't be any good bye's. I'll be gone and not a glance back.

I need to grow the fuck up.

work sucks

Ahh inventory is hell! But thank goodness, after tonight, I won't have to worry about it....until next year. Bahh

Its quite sad, I was so sure I could possible get a raise plus the new position of service desk cordinator (wooo weee) but after talking to a fellow employee, she told me that the possibility is slim because of the people who trained me. One of those people (an old manager) was fired and the other is quitting and has little respect from managers. Grreat. I told pretty much everyone that if i don't get it, I'm going to quit. Now the question that stands, if my possibilities of getting are that slim, should I quit? I've been offered a position before and my stupid managers just let it go and YES, I DID remind them that I was interested still. But they are stupid. After working at Marshalls for a year and half, knowing the entire store like a manager does, knowing how to do everything they could ever ask me, I still get paid a measly 6.75 while people who do jack shit get paid double or more what I do or the same which doesn't seem to fair.

I can't wait to get my paycheck on Friday so I can hopefully pay off my outstanding cell phone bill. I'm dying without my phone. :(


I love my baby. He's too good for me...

HAPPY BUNNY!!!

I'm sorry I had to :-D. This is thanks to Kirkkitsch blog. I LOVE HAPPY BUNNY!!!



congratulations. you are the kiss my ass happy
bunny. You don't care about anyone or anything.
You must be so proud


which happy bunny are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Not again....

Completely random stuff...

• I got bored with the blue background. So I changed it.
• When I drive, I use my head lights as little as possible. I don't know why, I just think they're a waste of my time to turn on and bother with
• I don't like signaling either.
• When I don't have anything to do with my hands, I play with my fingernails or fiddle with the straps on my purse
• I love making out.
• I love kisses
• Whenever I see Mike, I get butterflies in my tummy.
• And when he gives me this certain kiss, i get the butterflies too.
• It frustrates me when I want to make a CD and I know all the songs I want, but when it comes time to make it, I forget all the songs. And I forget to make a list before hand.
• I love listening to a new CD for the first time.
• I love the moments when I'm just sitting next to mike doing nothing. Even if we're bored, I'm still happy.
• Every guy I have gone out with has had similiar characteristics to the first person I fell in love with (except for one)
• I'm too nice
• Whenever I say I'm doing nothing (when I'm talking on the phone) I'm more than likely on the computer.
• I flirt with everyone (99.9% is harmless flirting) ;-)
• I think Ashton Kutcher has an amazing body
• I looooove That 70's Show
• I love Topher Grace.
• I can't cook.
• I love comfy pants (sweatpants)
• I like my butt
• I have an obession with buying sweatpants and sweatshirts. I never seem to have enough
• And jeans too. The stretchy kind that make my butt look good hahaha
• I LOVE RANDOM RAMBLES
• I tell stories that have no point to them and sometimes I tell them at the wrong time.

And lol I think that is it for now.

Crushed

"Sarraahh," he whined.

It was quiet, but just loud enough for me to hear. I looked up, saw his face, and all I wanted to do was run to him, hold him close, even for a second, just to see what it felt like to hold him, to feel his body next to mine. And then he smiled and all I could do was smile back.

ghosts.

There are days I have the urge just to write. When i get these urges I don't know what to write about and i sit in front of this damn computer staring at the screen while my mind runs through every feeling i may have at the moment. And then when I finally do think of things to say, they are so completely random and silly that I know they won't be taken seriously and I won't be seen as the "writer" i'd like to be. I don't like always talking about my day or bitching about certain things. I'd love to be poetic in my writing but I can never find the perfect words to describe exactly what it is. My synonyms would be goofy and unrealistic. And all I ever can think of writing about is love. Mostly because love is such a big part of my life.

Its funny how during the holiday's people tend to become more depressed mostly because of the stress and pressure they are under and because of lack of loved ones. However a co-worker today brought up how depressing it feels now. We were under so much stress however, we were always doing something and now, it just feels like we are doing nothing. Hours are cut, we really don't need to be shopping, and everyone's going back to their everyday life. Families are being separated once again because of work and school and that starts to feel almost lonely. You were almost always with them, but now with our "normal" lives, we barely see each other. I am a little depressed right now. I haven't gotten a good amount of sleep in a long time and now that I'm going back to work, i'm starting to become a little more stressed out. I miss the family in Texas, I miss my buddy, I miss the weather. I'm going to have no money until next Friday (not this coming, the NEXT) because i didn't work all last week so I'm going to be living off mike which sucks. I need to pay my cell phone bill before they turn my service off. I need to finish off community service hours. I need to pay money for that stupid crap. I need a car that won't let me down. I need new sheets on my bed cause my mattress is too big for my old sheets. I need a clean room. BLAH. Mike's phone is acting up.....and i'll stop now cause i could go on and on. I wish I could just have one more week of peacefulness and calm. Not having a care in the world. Standing on top of Enchanted Rock and thinking to myself, god damn, I made it, I'm not out of breath, and I didn't puke! And standing and looking down at beautiful Texas with the people who mean most to me.

And now I have the best guy in the world. I know when I'm feeling down I can look into those soft brown eyes and everything will be ok for the time being. I know he would do anything to make me smile and get the attention he wants. Thats why we're so good for each other. We both crave attention and we both get it. Everything I feel, he feels. And it feels so good knowing that what I used to do will be looked at differently from him.
It just sucks that sometimes I miss that soft, sensual kiss. The one he used to get me with every single time. And he knew it. And he used it against me.

His ghosts are in my car. Ever sense he left, bad things happen to the car. Mike hit a deer today. His first. He was so upset. No damage except the grill came loose. And he's okay.

I just wish he would leave.

Do you ever write things in here, then read it, then realize it'll be a mistake to post so delete it? I do that alot. I can think before I write (sometimes) but not before I speak.

If only.

Brand New Beginning

Last year went by slowly and I'm so glad its gone and over with. So much went on that I hope I will never have to think about again. There were also a lot of good times, but I can't say I remember a lot.

I spent the night with Mike and spent the first day of the new year with him too. And now i get to spend the rest of the year and hopefully more with him. I love the feeling. I love him. New Years Eve was fantastic and even though I had doubts about wanting to come home, I'm so freaking glad I did.

Texas was amazing. For those who didn't know or decided to come and visit now ( heey rick!) I went to Austin for a couple of days to visit my father's side of the family. He has 4 other brother (who are completely insane) and all of them are married. 2 of them live in Austin, 1 lives in Temple and the other lives in Japan but came to visit. I have 4 cousins, Zack, Zane, Max and Susan. Overall, I had a great time. I became really close with my one cousin Zack ( my buddy!!). He's 14. I don't know, I just really love it there. All my cousins said that I was lucky to go home early cuz the New Years Eve party they went to was boring.

I have to go to work tomorrow for the first time in over a week. Its going to suck. I hate it there. I'm considering quitting.

Guess what CD I bought? DJ Sammy. And guess what? I can listen to all the songs and not feel a damn thing except enjoyment cuz i like the CD. Heaven left us and now I'm fine.