as honest (or fucked up) as they come

gahdd...what is with me....

i don't understand what is going on...i don't understand why he's doing this...i don't understand why she is....

i feel like a fucking stalker sometimes when it comes to him. i don't understand myself.

gawd...this is as honest as it comes...

i just want to talk

why is he doing this? i wish i knew his motive. and i don't understand why not me? like...why aren't i that sexy one for him...why isn't he talking to me again. i don't understand what the fuck i did soo horrible. I JUST WANT TO FUCKING TALK

i'm drunk right now...is that any logical reason for me to say all of this?

i'm so sick of this shit. i'm sick of knowing that i was never good enough for someone. that everything he said to me was flat out lies. why did he stick around so fucking long? why did he feed me those lies for so long? why did he tell me i was sexy and beautiful when he thought a thousand girls were so much better than me? WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME????

why am i thinking about this now? i saw a comment i didn't want to somewhere. i read his words, already knowing he was talking to her...but i didn't know how far it was going.

i just want to curse my fucking brains out. FUCK FUCK FUCK YIOU FUCKING ASSHOLE. WHY THE FUCK DID YOU CHOOSE ME OUT OF ALL THE FUCKING GIRLS IN THE FUCKING WORLD. YOU FUCKING MOTHER FUCKING CUNT.

shit why doesn't that feel better? maybe i need to sleep.

...or i'll just drink drunk to pick up my sister.....

night...